Hey all, Wood Street Girl here, I am frustrated.....recently I had to have my pals fill in a leadership potential form for me and one of the questions was 'does she accept the status quo?'. This question kind of bothered me as I read the form for myself, as a) I wasn't sure if I really understood what this meant, and b) I knew I was the kind of person who didn't like to rock the boat. I was brought up very much not to question authority over me and rather to leave the job/club/school musical production (serioulsy) than to try and change the system or bad leadership. It is very much ingrained in my perceptions that people who question why things are done a certain way are trouble makers, a bit above themselves and they should just keep their mouths shut and accept their situation, until they are the 'boss'. When I see people challenging the status quo appropriately and effectivley however, I find it quite inspirational and impacting.
As a result of not developing the skill of questioning the 'boss' and trying to get a system that is bigger than me to change, I really don't know how how to to handle situations/people that I want/need to challenge. I just get angry, sit in my bedroom, stare at my mirror and yell my frustrations at the person I should be talking to face to face. Due to not knowing how to handle these situations, when forced to deal with them, I either operate at one side of the pendulum swing or the other i.e. I am either too wimpy or too aggressive.
Honestly, I sometimes wish God would save me for myself. I need to change, I want change, but I don't know how, and now I fear I have neglected a situation too long, hoping someone else will say something and effect positive change. I fear treading on people's toes, of going over their heads, of undermining their authority, of their not wanting to be my friend anymore. Honestly, I need to grow up.
Prayer is the answer, as it can change not only me, but everything in this situation. Lord you are in control....please help me to let You be the boss.
