Self Help to Pete Tong to Happily Ever After

When I was 19, I went to America and worked for the summer. The company I worked with was amazing in that they invested so much time and energy in training, mentoring and encouraging students to be successful at the job. I was also exposed to self help books like The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People and How to Win Friends and Influence People. Now I really enjoyed reading these and it was a whole new world to me - how to get the best out of myself personally and professionally. I went back for a number of summers, each time learning how to grow a business and each time challenging myself to do better than before. I became reasonably succesful, yet knew I could always do better.

As I look back now, I do not regret a minute of the 11 years I worked at this career and I found that many books such as the ones I mentioned above were extremely helpful in shaping the way I think about myself and the world around me. However, I know now that there was an element of this that was not healthy for me.

The reason I am blogging about this today, is because just this last week I have been realising that for all those years I had been trying to help myself to become someone I was not created to be. I believe each of us is born with gifts, personalities and abilities unique to us and only by living authentically in line with these will we be truly fulfilled and happy. I remember the first time I did one of those exercise that identifies your personality type. I wanted to be the one that I thought was the best - you know the stereotypical businessman. Yet I was someone slightly different. I spent years comparing myself to people that were more successful than me wanting to be just like them, but all the time denying the person God had created me to be and as a result hurting myself by expecting things of myself that I could never fulfill. For years I have carried a burden of dissatisfaction about myself and I always related it to not being successful enough at work, so I kept on trying harder or trying to improve my skills, but it never really brought the fulfillment i was seeking.

I am now, with God's grace learning to be content with me, realising that I do not need to do anything to be loved and accepted by Him. This has been an amazing realisation and one that is encouraging me more day by day. I still have days where I find myself trying to be someone I am not, but each time it happens I am so much better at reminded myself to chill out.

I do not have anything against self help books, I learned so much from them and still have a number that I refer to. Its when someone like me is not that comfortable or confident in their own skin that they can misuse them to try and define themselves as a particular type of person.
I remember the VP Marketing for my old company once said in a seminar that the Bible was the best self-help book ever written. Without being too cheesily Christian, I will say, Amen to that!

Champion-ees, Champion-ees!

Great news - We won the CUP - WAHEY!!!!!!

The score was ICC 4 - 0 Hope Hall. I was really impressed with Hope Hall. For a team two divisions below us they gave us a really good game and had some good players too. I really appreciated friends and family coming to watch although I was quite disappointed that I didn't get a chance to play.

Because it was a cup final in the Churches League we organised with the other team to pray at the centre circle before the match kicked off. You know, life is really funny sometimes because I remember when I used to tease and make fun of Christians for this kind of thing and there I was yesterday leading both teams in prayer! God's got a great sense of humour:-)

After a season of many injuries, I am looking forward to preparing for next season. We are looking at entering into the Scottish Amateur Cup, which would be a massive challenge for us, but something we need to keep us motivated now we have proven ourselves to be the best team in the league this year. It has also been said on many occasions that it is one thing to win the league, but real champions retain it.

I am hoping that we can be more involved with the college next year. As the body that supports us to be in the league in the first place it would be amazing if we could do a couple of joint events. Perhaps even go there for pie beans and chips after the match! I'm really looking forward to being the team rep to the league next year because I have noticed that this team means so much more to many of the lads than just a game of footie on a Saturday morning. They are a great bunch, yet quite a few of them are a bit lost and I hope I can just be a source of encouragement and support for them as they navigate life's little complexities.

I never thought I would hear myself say this, but bring on pre-season training!

The Wisdom of Ronan Keating

Well the end of another week is upon us. Jill and I are always excited when we get to Friday evening. Generally the cry when we get home is: "Its the Weekend!" and we get excited about being able to spend time together doing fun stuff.

This week was a bit of a roller coaster for me, here are some of the highlights and lowlights:

Monday morning teaching Mission in the book of Acts to people on the Equip discipleship course at church and being really encouraged when they prayed for me at the end -Highlight

Tuesday morning waking up at 7:25am and remembering I had a student council meeting at 7:30am, after a deodorant shower trying to stay outside a 2 meter radius of people for the rest of the day - Lowlight

Wednesday getting really stressed out about essay due for Friday to the extent that I even missed Jill's home made pizza - Lowlight

Thursday evening I went to Footie training - no injuries and in the squad for Cup final on Saturday morning - Double Highlight

Friday - Finishing my essay and handing it in at 3:59pm (2 minutes later would result in just a pass/fail verdict rather than a letter grade) - Highlight with feelings of great relief.

We're off to have dinner with some friends from church tonight and have a cup final to play in tomorrow - I love finishing the week on a high!

The question is: My cheesy reference to a song by an ex-boyzone member for the title of this entry - highlight or lowlight?

Summer Work anyone?

I find it quite easy to blog in fits and starts. Last week I blogged every day and sometimes twice! But now I am blogging for the first time since Saturday.

I just sent off my CV to a recruitment consultant to apply for summer work - WOW, this is a blast form the past. It is not something I have had to worry about since 1994 when I went out to America to sell books door to door and ended up working with the company for 11 years.

The work I am interested in is as an interviewer who goes out to companies and does all their assessment interviews. It may only be part time, but it seems to pay quite well and may be something I can continue through the college year. I am somewhat keen to have a bit of flexibility over the summer for other pursuits that may catch my eye - I am thinking about doing a car mechanics course!

I also spoke to a dear friend yesterday who was telling me about a company that works with Independent Trainers as associates and was going to recommend me to them. There is potential to make a lot more money, but it may depend on whether they have work to be done up in Scotland.

I trust that God has something ideal in store for me, something that will be interesting and helps pay the bills. Ah, the joys of student life return - Anyone know of any good summer jobs?

Counting my blessings

I just spent 24 hours with a friend that has not been able to return home for 5 years because of the political situation in his country. He has 4 brothers and 2 sisters between the ages of 18-31 and parents who dearly miss him.

We went to visit my Dad and Grandmother, I go about once a month. Frequently I feel guilty for not visiting them more often, but today I am just thankful and very appreciative that I can go and visit them full stop.

Mentor or Manager

On Friday in our class on communication skills we looked at different models of mentoring from industry and the church. The class began with being asked: "How would you not liked to be mentored?" At first it was difficult for me to think, which was surprising because I have been blessed with excellent mentors in the past. Then I just started to think about the great mentoring I had received and it was much easier.



I don't want to be given the answers, I want help in finding them
I don't want to be told, I want to be shown
I don't want empty talk, I want integrity
I don't want tasks, I want responsibility
I don't want to be let slide, I want to be held accountable
I don't want someone to pussy foot around, I want someone to tell me like it is.
I don't want to be capped, I want to realise my potential
I don't want to be managed, I want to be lead
Most of all I want someone who challenges me to grow out of a loving concern and commitment to the development of my character and abilities.

The first manager I ever had was an amazing leader. She took an real authentic interest in not only my professional development but my personal development and helped me build character by forming the discipline to do things that felt uncomfortable or a chore. An amazing lesson for a 19 year old. I think that to be an effective mentor you need to practice tough love, because that is the only way that we can be held accountable to grow. As I look through the gospels I see Jesus often being tough with his disciples because he knew they needed preparing for the great commission, but he did it with compassion and concern for their welfare. In Mark 6:7-13 he sent them out to preach, heal and drive out demons, then when they returned he made sure he took them aside to give them a chance to eat and have rest (Mk 6:30-31).

As I look back now I thank God for the way he was working in my life even before I recognised Him as Lord.

Training

I'm off to footie training tonight. The team I play with won our league two weekends ago and we're in the cup final next Saturday. I have been quite injury prone this season, my stats so far are two hamstrings, one ankle, one groin strain; a strained back and one goal in the first game of the season! The boys tell me its because I am 31 years old, but I am in complete denial and am determined to prove next season that I can play a full 90 minutes more than 2 weeks on the trot:-)

Anyway, tonight is an important session for me as I did not train last week or play on Saturday and the boys that did played brilliantly to win 6-0. So I am off to impress the coaches tonight to try and win a place in the squad for the big day. I hope I can play, my Dad's coming to watch and it would be great if he could actually see his son play for even just a part of the game. I may need a lot of prayer!

Believe it or not

Have you ever seen a 20 stone, 5'11" rugby prop, wearing a Superman T-shirt do a handstand in the middle of a library?

I'll let your imagination do the rest!

Finding my Feet

It takes a while to get used to a new role, that's what I have been finding recently. I am no stranger to leadership posts, speaking in front of large groups, chairing meetings, organising events and everything else that comes with being the student president at ICC but the last four weeks have been a real learning curve for me and reminded me that is is so easy when we have not been exercising our skills and talents to become underconfident. I am so grateful for one member of the student body who took the time after morning worship last monday to encourage me that he could see me getting more used to the role. It put things in perspective and really settled my nerves. I had the chance to thank him yesterday and he noted that the previous president had been the same - I had thought it just came effortlessly to my predecessor, but then I didn't see his first term 'in office'.

The college community is such an encouraging place, despite being a bit shaky (particularly leading the college in prayer) everyone has been so patient and understanding. Thanks to everyone that has prayed with me and for me the last few weeks, I really appreciate you and what you have been doing to help. Mostly, I want to Praise and thank God for calling me to this post and allowing me to use my gifts to serve my fellow students in this way - you know me so well.

If you want something done.............

Give it to a busy person, or so the saying goes. I am finding this to be so very true this week. I find it amazing that when I am not so busy it seems that what I do have to do carries more weight, yet when I have loads to do, the burden seems so much lighter because I am just concentrating on getting it done, rather than inwardly complaining that I have something to do!

This week I have 3 assignments to hand in, an academic board meeting to attend for 3 hours tomorrow afternoon a 2 hour teaching part to prepare for the Equip discipleship training programme on Monday morning. Amongst that we were out for dinner last night, are going to housegroup tomorrow night, I have football training on Thursday evening and then we are off to visit Dad over the weekend......phew!

I love pressure, it brings out the best in me. Must go now, 'cos I need to write a teaching session on Paul as a Missionary in Acts.

Cycling home from Siberia (via Oz)

I have a friend that has been cyling home from Siberia (click on link at the side) to raise money for a children's charity. His name is Rob, he is a Christian and I got know him when selling books during the summer in England. His latest blog entry was fascinating as he describes his journey through Australia (I know, not exactly on route from Siberia to UK!), but the most interesting comment he made was right at the end:

It has been a very worthwhile experience so far - with over ten
thousand pounds raised for Viva Network and their amazing work with children at risk and a good "University of Life" education for me, but is it worth keeping this up for so much longer... all of us (or at least all of us from wealthy countries)live in prisons of our own making and I am not going to keep cycling just because that was my original stated aim... but, for a number of reasons... I think I will keep riding... we shall see...!

This experience has been part of my spiritual journey. Before I went to Bible college, I felt very trapped by the expectations I had of what type of person I should be and what I should do to be deemed successful. In my time at college, I am finding an amazing amount of freedom to be myself, and to discover what I would most like to do with my life. I only have one of them, it is an incredible blessing and I want to make sure I use it to glorify God and have a significant impact on the lives of other people.

Keep going Rob, I am so inspired by your courage and determination!

Daft Supporters

I went to watch Glasgow Warriors play Llanelli Scarlets in the Celtic League tonight at Firhill in Glasgow. I went with a friend and my Dad. It was cool to see my Dad, I really appreciate having the chance to go and do something like that with him as I don't get to see him that much. The only slight problem was that he was wearing his Wales Rugby top proudly and stood out a mile amongst a stand full of passionate Glasgow fans.Even his support wasn't quite enough to spur on the visitors though as Glasgow ran out 17-10 winners, even surviving a late surge from the Scarlets to try and level the game.

I've been to a few football games in Glasgow and you can really notice the difference between the supporters. The rugby fans shout and complain at the referee just as much, but just without the swearing! The best shout of the night though had to be at the Ref (who was wearing a yellow jersey):

"Ref you're wearing the right coloured jersey, you big coward!"

Hilarious! I can't imagine hearing that at Parkhead.

If you have ever watched sport, what is the daftest things you have heard come from the mouth of a supporter?

Precious Moments

They come along once in a while, you wonder where they come from and why they have to end.

I was blessed with a precious moment last night as Jill and I finished eating dinner and started to dance in waltz grip around our wee living room in our top floor flat with romantic music playing in the background and the sun streaming through the window. It was not planned, lasted for about 5 minutes, but will be remembered for a lifetime. Marriage is truly a blessing.

Happy Birthday Alan

A big happy birthday to my friend at college Alan Harrison! You can check out his blog at http://butterhook.blogspot.com/ I hope you have a great weekend in Newcastle and see you on Monday :-)

The blessings of Friendship

I had quite a wierd but cool day today. Wierd because this morning I just felt out of sorts, a bit sad and a little without hope and encouragement. As I got to college, instead of sitting down to write my essay on Philemon, I went to the prayer room and sat for about an hour in silence - thinking, contemplating, praying and reading parts of the psalms and John's gospel. It really helped reassure me that God is a part of my life and even though may not always give quick fixes to my problems, will always be available to help me through tougher times.

I then chatted to one of my best friends over lunch and as I walked him to Queen Street station on his way home. This was a time of real encouragement to me - not because he was able to give me answers to my problems, but just by being there to hang out, listen and share his own thoughts and feelings. I am so thankful that God has given me this friendship this year, it has really helped me to re-learn about what friendship is all about. It also reminded me that often the way God answers prayer may not always be through some supernatural occurance but through the people I am surrounded by every day.

Where did Spirituality come from?

"So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel - because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth." Genesis 11:8-9

I had an interesting conversation with my brother last night. We talked about something fascinating - how could it be that all the different world peoples in ancient times develop a similar desire to worship something bigger than themselves without necessarily having interacted with each other - e.g. Native Americans; South American Indians; Egyptians. His current thinking is that there may be a higher power, not necessarily in the traditional form of the Jewish/Christian/Muslim belief system, and that as humans we have a natural instinct to worship that higher power.

My own belief is that the God of the Bible is that higher power, He created the Universe and the earth and He created humans as spiritual as well as physical beings. For me this part of the Genesis narrative goes some of the way to answering that question. Of course for people that may not believe in the historicity or legitimacy of the Bible it would be harder to accept this explanation. Throughout our Old Testament studies we have looked briefly at a number of conflicting opinions on this matter and so far everything I have examined has not changed my mind about the legitimacy of the Biblical accounts. I think it is really important for Christians to be open minded and hear challenges to our beliefs - it has really strengthened my faith to realise that other explanations often have much less corroborating historical evidence than the Bible does for what they claim, in fact in some cases I reckoned it takes far greater faith to believe them than it does to believe in Jesus.

I'm interested to know what others think of this question that my brother raised and my response, please leave a comment if you feel you have anything to add to the discussion.......................

My wife is awesome!

Jill and I have been married for just over a year now. In this time I have really come to appreciate some of the ways we are different, yet also complimentary. For example - She dislikes washing dishes, and I dislike hanging up wet laundry - its such a faff. However, I really like keeping our rather small kitchen clear from mess and Jill enjoys folding laundry: strange creatures we are! I am so thankful that God brought us together (see 'Testimony' from Sunday March 19th 2006). Even though I did not realise it at the time we are perfectly suited. That does not mean we have a perfect relationship every day (although a lot of days we are not far from it in my mind)but as we continue our life together I realise more and more how we are complimentary in different ways. I love my wife - My wife is awesome!

Rest and Restoration

It's amazing what a difference a good night's sleep makes. The last week or so has been a bit tiring. It started with a weekend away to Newcastle with the boys from football which knocked my sleep pattern a bit, then I was ill for a few days which really knocked the stuffing out of me, then Jill and I were away for the weekend. All of these things have disrupted my normal routines and so coming into this week with a friendship day to organise at college which lead to me writing a talk until 2am on Monday night resulted in me feeling just a little bit drained. Any time I get drained I feel fearful, doubtful and generally uncertain about my faith - but last night I had an early night, then a relaxing bath this morning and all of a sudden this afternoon when it came round to studying I felt so different. Going to the prayer breakfast with Biz and Chris really helped too and I really appreciated the chance to share with them both and begin the day in prayer. I'm off to footie training tonight with a bit of a dead leg and a big game looming on Saturday - one more victory and we are the Champions! An update will be forthcoming.......

Bigging up the Student Council

Yesterday, was the day of Friendship at college. Its a day when all students and staff of the college come together without work commitments and hang out playing games, chatting and working on small projects together. For the student council it can be hard work to make sure everything is set up and then things are running smoothly. I am really blessed with an amazing group of students on the council who worked so hard to make sure the day was a success and so I wanted to recognise them today. Thanks to: Dace; Dave; Angela; Stephen; John; Simon; Biz; Peter. Thanks for being so awesome!

Friendship

This weekend, Jill and I spent with our closest friends in Prestwick. They are emigrating to America in August and this was possibly the last time we will have such a close and relaxed time with them. It was also Jill's birthday which made it really special.

Tomorrow morning I am speaking to the whole student body at ICC on our Fellowship day. It's a time for students to come together without the necessity to read, study, write essays or go to classes in order to strengthen the bonds of friendship that enable community to form and grow. My 10 minute address is on the theme of friendship and for a while I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to share. Yet this weekend I have experienced friendship at what I believe is its truest form.

I have often felt that friendship occurs when you meet someone that you have something in common with, then have common experiences with which help form relationship.

Here are four people (two couples) each with a relationship with God in Jesus Christ, that have known each other for a number of years and have shared many experiences together. However this weekend I realised that one of the reasons this particular friendship is so strong is that we share a common vision/dream for the football team that Stuart and I play with. Our hope and dream is that the lads we play with would come to know Jesus as their Lord, the one that can fulfill the things that are missing in their lives. As we prayed together about this and many other things yesterday afternoon, there was a greater unity that came into our relationship which has brought us closer together. Perhaps a little ironic in that they are moving to Wisconsin in the summer, but a reassurance to me that this is one friendship that will not fall away because of distance.

I would suggest that perhaps the truest and fullest friendships are ones that have Christ in common; spend time together sharing experiences, ideas and feelings; and are united in reaching out to people in need of God's love (in whatever form that may take) through mission.

I would appreciate your comments on this or anything else I write on my blog, so 'answers on a postcard..........'